Saturday, December 24, 2022

Bonus: Jingle-Brawl Rock!

Frosty breath visible in the cold air, Robbie Whitewolf crossed his giant arms and pouted. "Ugh, this is so gay."

Standing on top of the Tamberly Ranch's water tower (the highest point on the GSA campus) Joseph, wearing a snug, grey cardigan and expensive scarf, gave Robbie a sideways glance. "Robert...I thought you preferred men?"

Robbie the 'Icewolf', in his down jacket and ear muffs (as a Canadian, he was well prepared for winter weather) sniffed. "Yeah, but like, holdin' hands and shit...it's extra gay."

Standing between the two of them like an angry father, Colt (in 'winter cowboy' flannel mode) glared down at his student. "HEY! I ain't gay...mostly...so if I say it's not gay, it's not gay." He grunted and extended his bare hands to them both. "Now, hold my hands, cuties." He relaxed his shoulders and closed his eyes. A chill wind answered his silent command. "Besides, only way to do this if we want to combine forces. And you, young alpha wolf, owe us for all the crap we went through with your Eiffel Tower stunt. Now, hold my hand, cutie."

Robbie growled. "Ugh. You freeze Paris ONE TIME and suddenly everyone's on your case." He looked out across the water tower, at all the stalls and decorations being sent up by the spellbreakers and staff of the GSA. Gio had even used his powers to grow them a fairly decent Yuletide tree. Robbie supposed if a champ like him and Joseph were game for all these fruity festivities, then so was he.

"Okay, okay, fine." He closed his eyes and took Colt's hand. "I'm doing it for the team."

Joseph muttered to himself. "So...you'll sleep with men, but holding hands is--"

"Joseph!"

"Also you do figure skating as a hobby, so I don't really understand why--"

"HEY!" Robbie growled, til' he received a quick shock and glare from his head coach. "Okay, sooorry. Here we go. One amazing, ice fantasy...coming up!"

The cold wind picked up, but instead of running right through the trio's bones and chilling them to the core, it went around them, travelling towards the roped off staging area below. Around a series of reinforced scaffolding, streamers of minty blue energy threaded and interlaced around the beams and poles, spreading a diamond-frost pattern across every surface. Colt, Joseph, and Robbie's eyes glowed the respective colors of their powers, as the the geomancers and elemantalists combined their energy and shaped it into structure.

The other spellbreakers took notice. Blue Dragon and Sanjay, threading a banner across the main thoroughfare, craned their heads towards the pillars of ice sprouting from the ground. "Bro," Blue Dragon gasped.

Sanjay, a geomancer himself, was impressed. "Solid cryo-form, gentleman. I'd give it a 9/10."

Though it was fairly modest in size, no larger than Colt's humble farmhouse, the ice castle was the perfect little 'fun house' for which the GSA's Yuletide fair goers could take a romantic adventure. The castle glinted in the winter light, all spires shining majestically under the lightest of residual snowfalls brought on by Colt and Robbie's combined meteorological mystique. 

Robbie's jaw hung open in awe, while Colt and Joseph regarded him with smug amusement. "Woah. Bros...these vibes are...very chill."

Joseph let go of Colt's hand and wrapped his giant arm around Robbie's thick neck. "See what happens when you let go of your insecurities? Look at that, Robbie. You did that." He paused. "Well, it was mostly Colt and I syphoning your ice powers into our own glyphological wavestream, but...you definitely helped."

Looking out at his fine work, Colt clutched the side of the tower safety rail and let out a satisfied, long whistle. "Wooey. What a beaut she is. Gotta say, this might be the best Yuletide fair we've put on yet."

Joseph blinked. "Uh, sir, this would be our first Yuletide fair."

"Be a team player, Joe."

"Got it, boss." 

That said, Joseph turned towards the small soundstage not far from the ice castle. He held his hands to his face and allowed his wind enchantments to carry his voice to its intended target. "Hey, Inaci! You're up, cuz."

Iggy Astro sat on their amp and fine tuned his guitar. At hearing Joseph's command, they tossed back his ice blue hair (dyed fresh for Yuletide) and stood, stretching long arms knotted fine with muscle. "My curtain call. Now, the finishing touch." He pointed at the castle and blew a luminated kiss towards its great peaks.

The castle's icy walls exploded with color, lit from within. Coming out from the farmhouse with a tray of holiday cookies in hand, Varla and Laura marvelled at the beautifully, rainbow lit castle.

"Ooh," Buck said, reaching out to a snickerdoodle. "These look delicious."

Varla swatted his hand away. "They're for the guests, Buck."

"I didn't know you baked, Varla!" Buck had already decided he liked having her around, especially as a counterbalance to his father. He still hadn't quite adjusted to the knowledge that Laura, the girl standing in front of him, was actually his half-sister yet, and he hadn't said much to her yet.

"She doesn't!" Came a loud, masculine voice from the farmhouse. John Henry poked his bald head from out of the window, and showed off his dainty over mits. "But I do! How do do you think I got these muscles, boy? Never trust a skinny chef."

Back at the sound stage, Iggy eyed his lighting work. It had been awhile since he'd done rigging, and even if it was for a silly little thing, he still took great pride in his work. The luminosity, hues, and color cycles needed to be perfect. His magick was strong enough that they could let their unconscious mind run it without much thought.

"Should last a day or so," Iggy mumbled. He heard footsteps behind him. "What do you think, hunky?"

Victor gave them a kiss on the cheek, hugging them close. The masked stud sported a mauve sweater (a bit oversized). "Beautiful. Just like you. Are you off now?"

Iggy put their guitar away. They didn't bother to hide the instrument anywhere, because nobody was foolish enough to touch it without their consent. "Yep," they yawned, trailing off stage. "I need to go break some boys."

Ever supportive of his partner's hobbies, El Amante laughed heartily. "Hahaha! Have fun, mi amor. I need to go make sure my new trainee is settled in."

"Oh yeah," Iggy shrugged. "That...Pink Burrito guy?"

"Pink Bandito!"

"Yeah, yeah. Geez, I thought you were the man who hit on anything with a pulse and an age of consent, but that dude is something else. Anyways, I'll see you later."

Down from the water tower, Colt surveyed his employee's efforts to make the yultide festive (and most definitely gay). Already, some folks from town had begun to trickle into the fairground. "Howdy, folks! Enjoy your stay."

Joseph took great pride and joy in seeing everyone get together. The threat of Firebird was always omnipresent, of course, but for now it simmered beneath the veneer of festive cheer. Today, at least, they could relax.

"It's a rare occasion we open to the school to the public," the champion said, examining stuffed White Tiger souvenirs at the merch table for any flaws. "I hope after such a tumultuous year, the humble folks of outer San Antonio can sincerely enjoy this." His eyes fell on a stuffed mascot lion and bear handing out balloons to young kids. "Wow, what an adorable lion!"

As soon as the children had vacated, the lion and bear turned their enormous stuffed heads towards Joseph. The bear removed his head.

Kengo, sweaty and red faced, breathed. "Gaaaah. It's hot in there!"

Blank faced, Joseph turned to the lion. "So...that one would be."

"Ggrgrgrgrgrg." The lion struggled to pop his head off. When he did, Spike poked his matted, blonde head out. "Man, it's lucky these little runts are around or I'd curse up a storm. I can't believe Colt has us--"

"Has you doing WHAT NOW?"

Colt stepped forward. Spike hadn't seen him. The Sailorboy immediately changed his tune. "Oh...uh...has us bringing holiday cheer to all of these deserving people."

"Hmph. That's more like it. We gotta' show the folks in town that we're a reputable business. Besides, as entertainers first and foremost, bringing joy is our profession." He nodded to Buck, passing by with a cart full of spellbreaker posters he'd printed out. "Ain't that right, son?"

Beneath his black beanie, Buck glared at his dad, shoved one of John Henry's cookies into his mouth, and moved on.

Spike frowned. He thought he should say something to his friend and crush, but it was best to let him sort it out on his own. "Still not talking to each other, Boss?"

Colt crossed his arms. "He'll lighten up. Buck is a broody boy. Takes it from his mother. He loves Yule. Once we ply him with eggnog and give him his gifts, he'll be fine. Now boys, shall we get to wassailain or wrasslin'?"

"Ah, that reminds me!" Spike chirped up. He began to waddle away, having great difficulty walking in his lion outfit. "I'll see yous guys later."

Joseph frowned. "What? You were going to help set up the shaved ice machine with me."

"Er...later, Joey! I promise! Robbie can handle it til then. Ice is sorta his thing."

Colt tapped his finger against his chin, watching Spike vanish into the crowd. "What on Earth has gotten into that boy's head?"

"If I had to guess?" Joseph sighed. "Either sex or violence."

"Probably both."

"Yep. Probably both."

---


Spike's face lit up with pure excitement. "Oh boy, a royal rumble and Secret Santa! The perfect Yuletide gift." 

The four spellbreakers in the arena, situated at the four corners, all took turns either smirking or flexing at each other. The Yule fair was the perfect cover for a clandestine fight in the practice ring. 

Spike, wearing a red velvet robe (perfect for the season) revealed his studly physique and candy-cane striped briefs. "And I'm gonna win, boys! Hey, check out my festive gear."

"Cute briefs," Rexford said from his corner. He stretched his legs and tugged on his forest green trunks. "But fat chance." He strutted over to Spike and thumped his chest against his, daring him to fight back.

But Mr. Holt had other motives. He whispered to Spike. "But...let's team up til' it's just you and me, eh?"

Spike winked at him. "Deal."

Iggy fixed his blue hair into a ponytail, using a hair tie with a fitting, star accessory. "Ho ho ho..." he said, striking a most muscular pose to intimidate his little jobber opponents. "Or should I say, ho ho hoes. With an 'e'."

Cian slapped his knees, finding Iggy's insult to be the pinnacle of hilarity. A Scrooge to the core, Cian had refused to wear any festive wear, choosing his standard, black singlet instead. "Ha! Good one, Iggy."

Spike glowered at his rivals. "Ugh. What happened to England, Cian? I thought we had something goin' on now?"

"I might be slightly more cool with you now, Boyo, but I still love kicking your arse!"

Iggy patted Cian affectionately on the head. "But look at him! He is adorable, muscular, and sadistic. Just how I like it." He cracked his knuckles. Cian and Iggy turned to their opponents, staring them down hungrily. "Let's show these boys who's on the naughty list, eh?"

Spike and Rex sprung on Iggy before he could react. "Get their hot, Brazilian butt!" Spike said, grabbing one of his chiselled arms, while Rex grabbed the other. They picked them up and slammed them on the mat, putting Iggy into a double arm bar. 

"What!" Iggy bellowed. "You...little. Your arm bars suck, number one! And number two, when I get out of here..." He cringed. "Ugggh."

"What's wrong, teach?" Spike laughed, digging his boots into his mentor's ribs. "Sad you're about to tap to a bunch of twunks."

"Revenge is sweet!" Rex said. 

Iggy's eyes flashed neon green with rage. "CIAN! Get over here and wallop these sluts!"

"You got it!" Cian said, kicking Rex in the back of the head.

"Ohhh...sugar plums," Rex squeeked as his eyes rolled up into the back of his head.

"I forgot how hard Cian's legs hit," Spike growled. He watched the Faeblood Brawler dig into his prey, picking up Rex and shoving him into his pits for a choke.

"Robbie showed me how to do this one," Cian laughed. "Bet you miss Wolf Daddy's scent, eh?"

"Mmmm. Smells like Irish Spring..."

"Awww," Iggy said, fake-pouting. "Looks like your little friend's in trouble." With his other arm free, Iggy reached over and grabbed Spike by the throat. "And so are you, sexy."

"Oh...fuck..." Spike gasped. 

Iggy glared, and blew a loose strand of hair out of his face. "On your feet. Now."

Spike had no choice. Iggy's grip on his trachea was iron hard. "Wow...teach...your hair looks really good...tied back."

Iggy smiled. "Aw, thanks." Then, still smiling, he picked Spike up into the air and choked slammed him into the canvas.

Candy canes danced before dizzy Spike's eyes. "Unnngg..."

"Get 'em, Astro," Cian laughed. "Aww...this one's all tapped out!" He let Rex fall to the mat, drooling. "Too bad for you, lad, I worked up a sweat earlier building all the scaffolding for the neato ice castle. Heh. What a jobber. Also, you really need to change your name." He scratched his head. "Rexford sounds like T. Rex, and Holt sounds like Colt."

"That's why he's a guest character," Spike said off-handedly.

Iggy had already scrambled up gracefully to the top rope. From his perch, he looked down at Spike, trying to peel himself off the mat.

"I think I'll defeat you with your own move," Iggy said, getting ready to Moonsault Spike into sweet oblivion. And then I'll put that little pup Robbie down and secure the win! 

Iggy Astro flipped into the air with gymnastic excellence. He sailed to his target, relishing the blow he was going to deal his favorite punching bag.

Something stopped him before he landed.

Or rather, someone.

"Huh?"

Finding himself in a princess carry, Iggy looked up into the soft, hazel eyes of...

"S-Santa Claus!"

Bearded Gio, in a Santa hat and inspired singlet, reared his head back. "Ho ho ho! It is me! Santa Titan."

Enough recovery time had passed that Spike was able to peel himself off the mat. He cradled his sore head and throat. "W--what? G-man!?"

Smiling warmly, Gio tossed Iggy aside and into the ropes like he was an unwanted present. "A royal rumble without Colt's approval! Tsk tsk. You're ALL on the naughty list now." 

Rexford came to, long enough to join Iggy and Spike in their mutual confusion at this late entry.

Still grinning, Gio cracked his knuckles. "And now...Santa is going to dish out his just rewards."

Spike bit his lip. "Oh, you know what, maybe I don't want to..."

"Not so fast, cutie!" Gio laughed, grabbing Spike by the back of his briefs, exposing his peachy butt. He tugged his opponent towards him and forced him to face him head on.

"Hehehe" Spike laughed nervously, readjusting his briefs (now half up his ass). "Santa! Oh boy." He gave the big, muscle man a flirty look. "Do you want me to sit on your lap?"

"Spike Waterford! You are on the naughty list for sitting on Kengo's face when you got drunk together that one night. You get...a bear hug!"

The giant gripped Spike and hugged him tight, compressing his lower back and driving it into his naval.

Spike choked. "GAAAH....MY SPINE! I GIVE!"

Gio turned around and tossed Spike cleanly out of the ring. "Very good! Now...who's next?"

Rex, still catching his breath from Cian's usky punishment, crawled on hands and knees to get away from the Titan. Gio easily reached out and plucked both of his legs, dragging him towards certain doom.

"And as for you, Mr. Holt! You snuck a kiss with El Amante when Iggy wasn't looking."

Iggy shook the dizziness out of their head. "He did...WHAT?"

Rex tried to feign innocent. "Awww...that wasn't anything!"

Gio nodded. "For being such a naughty boy. NECK BREAKER IN YOUR STOCKING!"

The big man abruptly turned around, grabbing Rex by his neck, and drove him down into his shoulder. It was an instant KO. Gio sat on the ground and folded his arms, smiling at his two standing opponents, looking on in horror.

Cian wasn't so easily defeated. "Come on, Iggy, we got this in the bag!" He charged forward. "You may be my mentor, Gio, so sorry about this. Let's send Santa back up the chimney!"

Gio reached out and grabbed Cian around the neck, easily. "Oh, you are going IN the bag, Cian. You have been especially naughty this year. Beating up on Spike and making him smell your used jockstraps!"

Cian struggled to breathe. "Hey let me out!"

With ease, Gio scooped Cian up and held him in the air. "Okay!" he said, power bombing him into the canvas.

The ring shook.

"Unngggg..." His own finisher. How humiliating! 

Gio dragged Cian on top of Rex, t hen gingerly stepped out of the ring to drag Spike back in and add him to the pile.

Watching all of this with a mix of concern and amusement, Iggy tossed back his ponytail, letting his self-made stardust fall from his luscious locks. "Oh, so I win, right?"

Gio crossed his arms in front of his massive, hairy chest. "Hmm. Inaci Vara. Which boys did you make cry this year?"

From the pile behind Gio, everyone weakly held up their hand. "Uuggh."

Iggy played innocent, batting their eyelashes at their formidable opponent. "Oh, Santa, Santa. You jolly stud. Do you think you could punish the Prince/ess of Punishment?" As soon as he drops his guard, I'm gonna choke him out with my thighs. And then, I'll be the star atop this Yuletide tree! 

Gio nodded. "I suppose I can be lenient this one time." He turned away. 

"Of course! Thanks, Santa." Iggy leered and ran forward. "You're a real, jolly ol'-"

Gio whipped around and punched Iggy right in the chest, sending them bouncing into the ropes and then down right into Gio's legs.

He grabbed Iggy by the ponytail. "That...was naughty."

 "AGH, NOT THE HAIR! NOT THE HAIR!"

"Hahaha!" Gio yanked Iggy off the ground and held them inverted. "Oh my, looks like your stocking is already stuffed full," Gio said, blushing, as he caught sight of Iggy's bulge in front of his face. "For you, Astro, a piledriver under the tree!"

"NO! NOT THE FACE! NOT MY PRETTY F-"

WHAM!

Gio had no problem dragging Iggy's twitching body by the ponytail and adding it to his pile of conquests. Dusting off his hands, Gio the Titan sat on top of his victories as the moaned or otherwise remained motionless beneath his might.

"Ah, Santa's naughty list is complete. I am the winner! Hahahaha!"



In the breakroom, a fully clothed Spike placed the bag of ice on his head and winced. "Ohhh my head."

He felt something drop into his lap. He looked down at the small, wrapped box, and then up into Iggy's grumpy (and bruised) face. "Huh?"

Iggy sighed. "Gift swap, stupid. Secret Santa, remember?"

Spike glared over at Gio, pouring one of his rare wines for Cian and Rex. "Better than suplex santa," he grumbled. Gio saw him and toasted him. No hard feelings. Spike smiled. 

The fighters gathered around the table, each of them exchanging packages (all very poorly wrapped).

Cian beamed with gratitude. "Look at that! A pack of new jock straps! Mmm." He pressed them to his face. "Smells fresh." Then, he gave Spike a knowing glance. "Hehehe but not for long. Thanks, Rexford!"

Rex, massaging his sore neck, grinned back and unwrapped his gift. "No problem! Hey, the strategy guide for Warriors of the Marsh! Now I can unlock the secret, all male hotsprings scene." He drooled at the thought of all those Warring States studs getting soapy with each other in his digital fantasy.

Spike nodded. "See, I listen to you!" He opened the small box, probably the most elegantly wrapped of all of them. "Oh, what's this?"

Iggy looked away. "Don't...don't get too excited."

Inside the delicate tissue paper sat a new pair of wrestling trunks. Spike's heart melted. "OMG is this...new gear! Pink? AND A NEON GREEN ANCHOR WITH A STAR IN THE MIDDLE?" He held them up in front of his face. "Now I'll match you, teach?"

Everyone in the room gushed. "Awwww."

Iggy looked like he was either going to be sick or faint. His face turned bright red. "Well, I was so tired of all the navy and blue. Let your mentor give you some colo--"

Spike threw himself into Iggy, wrapping his arms around his muscular build.

Iggy couldn't fight back the smile. "Oh...so we are doing the hugging now."

"Thanks, teach!" He kissed them on the cheek.

Politely, Iggy pushed his mentee off of him and turned to his own gift, in a slap-dash gift bag. "And from Cian." He unfolded the hockey jersey for everyone to see. "Err...Icewolf's hockey jersey."

Sweating, Cian gave Iggy a pained smile. "I got invited to this last minute..." he threw Spike a dark look. "So all I had was Robbie's shirt that he gave me. Well, one of them. Look, he gave me several. I don't understand him."

Iggy shrugged, "Meh. I can turn it into a crop top. It will be very cute. Thank you, stud."

With all gifts exchanged, and wine doing the work for all of them, Spike looked towards Gio. "Oh, crap, G-man. We didn't know you were coming. We should have gotten something for you. Especially since you won, after all."

"Cheater," Iggy coughed. "Oooh, sorry. Cold coming out."

Gio ignored the diss, instead standing and pulling Spike into another big squeeze. "I do not need anything! Your friendship is the present. Come here, guys."

Whether or not they wanted to, the other boys found themselves in a tight group hug, muscle against muscle.

Spike squeeked. "Awww...oowww...my spine."

"Happy Yuletide," Santa Gio said. "To much fighting and hugging this year!"

To Be Continued

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