The hidden upstairs studio in Gravesend Manor, lair of the 'Demons from Down Under'. The most sinister bachelor pad this side of the southern hemisphere, situated in the infamous Horror Land 'Scream Park', beneath the beautiful Sydney Harbour Bridge.
A large, cobweb covered room with creaking floorboards and gothic, iron-latticed windows. Despite its grim apparel--its bookshelves stacked with wicked tomes, a skull candle-holder on the table, and grotesque heavy metal and punk posters lining the walls, there are enough gentle touches to give it a cozy vibe.
The door creaks open...the angelic face of Spike Waterford peers around the corner. Tonight he is about to look into the eyes of terror itself, and face the most eldritch horror of them all.
A first date with a cute boy.
Spike: H-hello...
Daemian: BOO!
Spike: AHHH!
Daemian: Spikey, I literally walked you here! Hahaha. Awww...my cute little boyfriend is so jumpy.
Spike: Hey, D-Man, I never agreed to the whole boyfriend thing. I just agreed to one date night. In...a haunted house, apparently.
Daemian: Uh, yeah, MY haunted house, bitch.
Spike: Does...all of Sydney look this scary?
Daemian: Yes. Now, I'm not too fussed if you wanna touch anything--besides me that is--but hands off that ominous, glowing, red box on the box shelf over there.
Spike: Oh, but I love Rubix Cubes! I've never solved one before, but the colors make me happy.
Daemian: Not that one you don't love.
Spike: What happens if I solve it? Do a bunch of S&M demons come out of a portal and torture me, showing me pain beyond the scope of imagination before taking my soul back to their unseemly realm for all eternity?
Daemian: Nah, it's just a real bitch to put back together if it falls apart. *yawn* If I wanted kinky sex demons I can open the portal to that dimension myself. But this is date night, and the only kinky sex demon here is...me.
Spike: Oh, you. Wait, you said your were human. You...are human, right?
Daemian: Much to my fucking chagrin, yes. *sigh* I'm just soul-bonded with Brax. I get all the powers, but very little of the actual cool demon appendages. That being said, I can glamor myself to look more demonic, which I usually do when I'm in Gehenna, but sadly I'm a mortal man. A mortal man who can survive getting his limbs chopped off, but mortal nonetheless.
Spike: So...you...live in a haunted house theme park ride?
Daemian: Um, not just ANY dark ride. It's Gravesend Manor! The scariest, largest haunted house in the world!
Spike: So, since you can do that dark teleport thing, you just stay here instead of at the GSA?.
Daemian: Yeah, nah. You know that shack by the gulch? That's where I live on campus. Away from those other losers. And I just rent out two unused rooms here. I cut a deal with the theme park owners. Think of it like my villain hideout!
Spike: It's...surprisingly cozy. And it smells better than I thought it would.
Daemian: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Spike: UM! You know, it's just like...if Dracula had good taste.
Daemian: Ah, bless your cotton socks; you're warmin' me black heart. The smelly ghoul thing is just part of the territory. I actually like a very clean space. Well, besides the bugs and spiders, but they're my mates. Well, I guess I do only shower on the third day, you know. But hey, I'm told the funk works for me!
Spike: Your place away from the GSA is actually really cool! For instance, I love this giant fake spider you got here. So lifelike...
Daemian: Oh, that's Hairy Bob. He's my pet huntsman.
Hairy Bob: *wriggles, spiderly*
Spike: AHHHH!!!!
Daemian: Hehehe. 'Straya, cunt!
Spike: I think I'll just settle down on this oversized beanbag. AGH! It moved.
Brax: Grrr....
Spike: Oh, sorry, Brax! I forget you sometimes look really cuddly.
Demian: No wockas! Brax loves a cuddle. But, this here is the beanbag.
Heart pounding, and not just from the decorations, Spike settles into the beanbug. He breathes.
Spike: Cozy. And warm. Oh...hi.
Daemian settles into and pulls him (perhaps too tightly) closer, snuggling him.
Daemian: Hi.
Spike: Cutie. So...I've never had a boyfriend before. I guess I didn't really have any say in the matter, but...what about you, Lachlan?
Daemian: I had one or two exes. But...er...stuff happened.
Spike: ...Had? Oh, where are they...like...now?
Daemian: One's buried out in the back. The other is one of the Grand Princes of Hell. I'm lying about one of those things.
Spike: ...Eep.
Daemian: Yeah, I'm scary. Scary as they come. But...I'm safe. You're safe with me.
Spike: Ohh. This is...kind of nice. Cuddles. The light coming through the window. The ambient warmth of a giant demon. So, what are we gonna do now? Besides more kinky, raunchy sex?
Daemian: Hehehe you're a real pants man, ain't ya, Spikey? That'll come later. And so will you, chook. But for right now, I thought we'd order some pizza and watch some of the goriest thrillers ever!
Spike: While...eating? Might ruin my appetite.
Daemian: How about some topping?
Spike: ...Right now? With Brax here?
Daemian: ...I meant the pizza. Um...can I let you in on a secret though. Brax, you can't hear.
Brax: Grr...
Daemian bites his lip. After a moment's consideration, he whispers to Spike.
Spike: Oh...uh uh. OH REALLY? Ha, I thought you'd...you know. The way you're so dominant.
Daemian: I can still be dominant like that. Ever heard of a power bottom? That's the thing, Spike. When you grow up being told you can't have something, that it's forbidden...you just want it even more.
Spike: Huh, Well, your boy here is a true, vers king!
Daemian: I picked the right guy for my evil schem--I mean, to be my boyfriend.
Spike: Again, I never really agreed to--
Daemian: Shhh...you'll ruin the vibe. Kiss me instead.
Spike: Okay. *smooch* Mmm tongue ring.
Daemian: You really do like a bad boy, hey? So, what do you think about good ol' Neo South Wales?
Spike: It's...spooky. Why is it so scary?
Daemian: Ah, that's just good ol 'Straya. Scary is what we do here. Venomous creatures, killer crocs, giant spiders, colonialism. You name it.
Spike: I'd like to see more, sometime! I guess if there's a divine chalice on this continent like T. Rex says there is, then I probably will.
Daemian: Here's an idea. Since it's still early, why not do a movie before pizza. That way you wont lose your lunch. Er...dinner.
Spike: Okay.
*movie*
Spike: AHHHH! He just...with the eyeball...and the cake mixer...and that's so much BLOOD!
Daemian: I know, isn't it AWESOME! I love what the killer does with the intestines. That's the sort of creativity I try to put into my matches.
Spike: Hmmm. Are you comfy with my back up against you, Brax?
Brax: I...enjoy cuddles.
Spike: Hmm. I feel like I should get to know you, better too. So...you're a demon. That's neat. How does that work?
Brax: Hnnngggg....my kind have walked the face of this world for centuries before you Lilin crawled up, putrid and mewling, from your primordial soup. I am a scion of Gehenna. A war demon of clan Iridium. We rise above your human concepts of morality. 'Mercy' is considered vice at best and weakness at worst. My clan and I aspire to consume the still-beating heart of our enemies, for this is our highest virtue. And yet...your world fascinates me. Your Lilin lives are so short. Your bodies, so breakable. You take pleasure in such strange, violent delights. I admit, some are even pleasing to me. Pit fighting. Petty violence. Sitcoms. Flower arrangement. When I do not wish to break the skulls of my opponents alongside my mortal kindred here, I find myself drawn to the pairing of mid century furnishings with tasteful, muted pallets.
Daemian: Oh yeah, Brax here fitted the whole place out! We argued over the color scheme of course.
Brax: I am a demon. Why would I wish to dwell in Hell when I can bask in the formic simplicity and ergonomic comfort of affordable Swedish design?
Spike: You...two sure have an interesting relationship.
Brax: Hrrrrrrnggggg....you are now my mortal kindred's consort. Therefore, I am your sword. Your shield. Call upon me when you are challenged, kindred Spike, and I shall REND your malcontents for your pleasure, ripping their limbs off one at a time until you have purified your dignity with their BLOOOOOD.
Spike: Wow, that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me. Hmm...I guess I could get used to having a spooky boyfriend. You know, if I agree to it. Remember, Daemian, I said I'd give you one date. But...so far, I'm actually having a lot of fun.
Daemian: Awesome! I knew you'd like hanging out. By the way, how's your Latin?
Spike: Well, I was raised by nuns, so...wait, why do you ask?
Daemian: Thought we could summon one of the Soul Flayers from the Festering Abyss and WRESTLE it til it cries for its bloody uncle! Er....wait, do Soul Flayers have Uncles, Brax?
Brax: More of a hive minded brood pustule, my mortal companion.
Daemian: Anyways, Spiky, how's your groundwork when there's tentacles involved?
Spike: *sigh*
The End (?)
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